Divorce can crush any human soul like a trailer that has lost control at high speed. According to wf-lawyers.com, as of 2019, the divorce rates in the United States registered a downward trend. But so was the marriage rate, which dropped by two points from 8.2 for every 1,000 people to 6.1 for every 1,000 by the time of publishing the report. The site also recorded a drop in divorce rates from 4.0 in 2000 to 2.7 for every 1,000 people. Nonetheless, divorces are still reported nationwide, with an estimated 50% of all marriages ending in divorce court.
Despite the documented figures, the unreported fact is the trail of physical and emotional damage to millions of affected souls occasioned by the finality that comes with divorce. While this destructive event is usually extensive, the pain can’t be wished away. It can turn on the individual unless they take deliberate, decisive steps to regain their groove.
As you go through the journey of accepting the finality of divorce, beware lest you minimize the impact of your regrets and the betrayal you may have experienced, considering you went into a marital union with great ideas for a happily ever. The damage is overwhelming to any human soul. However, your life and health are much more important and urgent now. Whatever choices you resort to now, you must swim rather than sink.
Many divorcees have lingered at a heartbreak hotel a bit too long before acting to defend their personal health and wellness. As sure as divorce is final, their poor choices have come at a cost too. Divorce can easily knock even the most stable person into harmful behavior and other habits that spiral into self-harm over time. Here’s what to do after divorce is final to get your groove back and overcome this tough time.
After Divorce, What Next?
As you think about what to do after divorce is final, note that your decisions will make or break you while taking the next steps. The good news is that it’s possible to find yourself again, heal wholly, and regain your groove. You can survive and move on to thrive after a divorce.
The first few weeks after separation and divorce can be daunting. You’ll find life meaningless and may not even see the need to care for yourself. You could be in a space where even cooking for yourself isn’t something you want to think of. Long durations spent wondering what you could have done better to save your marriage should remain in the past. For now, pick up the phone, call the local restaurant, and order some sweet, spicy, deep-fried chicken, or just any Chinese delivery, and buy a meal that keeps you going. Regarding what to do after divorce is final, the idea is to keep moving, a day at a time.
There are days when the food will taste like sand, tasteless and cold. In that case, you can stash your takeout box in the fridge. Considering the hell you are in, it’s also okay, as divorce is final. However, this doesn’t mean you neglect yourself. You can work towards getting back into your groove when the hours seem like they are not moving. Step out of your house and take a walk in the neighborhood. Some fresh air and a feel of life will do you good. Seeing people walking their dogs, kids playing in the park, busy vendors or others rushing to take the bus, any sign of life is therapy. While at it, pop into a bakery shop and sample their pastries. Order a warm muffin, sit in the chair inside the shop, and bite into your snack while savoring its flavor.
While food isn’t the best recommendation for therapy for a wounded soul, you’ll need to eat healthily to keep your energy and nutrition levels in check. Seafood would be a good option for your supply of essential and micronutrients, including important nutrients such as iodine, which helps aid the thyroid gland. Other useful nutrients found in seafood include zinc, potassium, and selenium. Fish supplies your body with Omega 3, which will be great for your memory and cardiovascular health. This would be a good time to visit a seafood restaurants and treat yourself to a healthy meal. This is useful as you continue to work towards getting your groove back, and your body will thank you for it. Add this to your list of what to do after divorce is final.
Professional Therapy Comes in Handy
The Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale has rated divorce as the second highest cause of stress for a human being, with the highest being the death of a spouse. Divorce is final and leaves invisible gaping wounds on its victims after breaking apart the strong emotional bonds that marriage builds and protects. The separation that comes with divorce leaves a person in deep pain with nowhere to seek support and comfort during times of crisis and difficulties. Neither does the victim have a safe place to turn to when they have happy moments to share.
As such, it would be wise for you, going through a divorce, to seek help from a trained and licensed professional for your mental health during this phase of your life. This is because even with your best-kept habits to stay healthy and mentally aware, divorce and separation are traumatizing and a heavy blow to an individual’s self-esteem. Your mental health is likely to be the worst hit, with feelings of overwhelming anxiety, stress, depression, and rage consuming from the inside.
This can take months or even years if not addressed early and professionally. Don’t deny the existence of these emotions, but healthily deal with them to encourage healing, closure, and eventual restoration. This works best when talking with a non-judgmental therapist, who can offer guidance and help you with the necessary skills to navigate the uncertain terrain.
As you embark on the lonely path of what to do after divorce is final, don’t isolate yourself. Seek help from other people to help you cope. Depending on your faith, you can look for a religious leader such as a priest, a pastor, a sheik, or other authority figure. Others are likely to look for help from their local psychic reader.
At the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, many Americans sought psychics’ insight, including tarot card readers. Their quest was to know what would happen next, and some had requests, such as whether the world was ending. Like other faith-based figureheads, psychics offer comfort to their clients by mystically reading their thoughts, then offering solutions.
A New York Times article references a professor of psychology, James Alcock, saying that during times of high pressure and anxiety, people are likely to turn to psychics as they seek answers to things they have no control over. Psychics are known to read into their client’s energy, which will feed them with information from their subconscious mind. This way, they can accurately tell about your past, present, and future.
Choose You First, Always
The good news about this new adventure is that, although knowing what to do after divorce is final is challenging, your life will get better over time. As part of your recovery, it would be good to do things such as fix yourself, look good, and get your groove back again. Find a gym and attend regular sessions if you’re not yet in one. Body exercises will boost your feel-good hormones. Take a shower daily, brush your teeth, put on deodorant or cologne, and put on clean clothes. Another amazing idea is to book an appointment with the hairdresser or barber and give your hair a makeover. If you have been considering paying for a laser hair removal service and similar treatments, this would be a great opportunity too. Ensure you are consulting a professional for the laser procedures to get good services that ensure you are getting back into your groove.
How about getting yourself something to comfort you as part of your list of what to do after divorce is final. Although this may mean spending money that you otherwise did not plan for during a time when all finances are crucial, you can sample the best jewelry stores and see what you can pick. It could be a bangle or a pair of earrings, a necklace, or anything you like, and that does not cost an arm and a leg. Even some of the best places to sell jewelry could have affordable treasures you like and would want to buy as souvenirs to get your groove back.
On Your Way to Thriving Again!
You have opted to place a high value on yourself and are ready to do something about it. As you continue practicing your daily habits, such as taking a jog in the neighborhood, meditating, talking to a professional mental health expert, eating well, and having adequate sleep, you can take this further and thrive beyond the finality of divorce.
Beyond just cleaning your teeth daily, your oral health can be a big confidence booster for the days ahead. See your dentist and have a check on your oral health as you try to figure out what to do after divorce is final. If your teeth could benefit from an adult braces treatment, consider adding it to your recovery regimen. Braces help straighten the teeth, enhancing a natural smile for those whose teeth have always been misaligned. Adults are also spoilt for choice today when choosing the braces they want to get.
Consider reconnecting with the child in you as part of figuring out what to do after divorce is final. Childhood was ideally spent in noisy play and endless fun. As a child, you would make your own games, head off to the park on your bike, hang out with playmates from the neighborhood, and spend endless hours doing things that brought joy to your heart. Well, about time you walked that path again. The good news is that summer camps aren’t just a preserve for children alone. As an adult, you can pack a bag and head to a local summer camp to regain your groove.
You could go with some friends or alone, which is even better because you can carve out a brand-new program. When out alone, you will have an opportunity to meet new people and hear their stories too. The world opens up as you get to hear others narrate their experiences while you roast marshmallows over the campfire. You don’t need to share your sob story, as divorce is final, and you sometimes feel overwhelmed. However, always stick to your story. It is yours at the end of the day. Besides, there is always room to learn something new. To get your groove back during summer camp, you can choose a cabin you will share with others you have not met before. Indulge in swimming, hiking, pickleball, and other outdoor games. Ensure to do as many fun things as possible, especially with others. Let out a good laugh occasionally while out there; it’s therapeutic.
At camp, you’ll learn about the importance of self-care. In the busy lifestyles of millions of Americans, a person going through such a lonely journey as divorce could forget to take care of their health. In the noisiness of being a parent or dealing with the end of a marriage, self-care becomes the last thing one thinks about. At camp, you are reminded why your well-being cannot take the backseat. Use the opportunity to learn from camp counselors and other campers and come out of the place a more empowered human.
Your Best Days Are Still Ahead
Summer camp puts meaning into the word ‘fun’ and ensures that it works in a natural environment where people can be in touch with the fauna and flora. Taking in deep breaths of fresh air, kayaking in the river, or taking care of animals are some things you can engage in while at camp, ultimately recharging the soul. So book your next camping trip!
Divorce is final, but it shouldn’t mean life has ended. You can find your groove and thrive again. Who knows, you could find love again somewhere down the road! As you find yourself again, remember that even when everything else is gone, you can only be one you. You owe yourself better. Use this information as a guide for what to do after divorce is final.